The LifeQuake Blog

The media is scaring the heck out of people and some of that is good. We’ve been needing  to get out of denial and wake up to the fact that we’ve been overextending ourselves financially in this country. However, what I’ve been seeing in my practice is a paralysis and an increase in addictive behaviors to numb out from the overwhelming fear people have that the entire country is going belly up. So I am here TO BRING THE GOOD NEWS!!!!

1) Getting rid of the clutter.  The big buzz word right now is CHANGE. But for most of us that translates as LOSS. Take an inventory of everything in your surroundings that is de-funct and obsolete.

To be successful now you have to create small changes where you can see improvement immediately.   To get in the spirit of change you have to get rid of the dead-weight. There is no room to move into new if you are surrounded by stuff that is not life giving.  What is old and useless? Take inventory of what is de-functional. For chicks it is the closet, your wardrobe, expiration labels on foods and medicine in the pantry, and the garage.  Then move to your desk at home and at the office.
Now go on to your habits. What habits are dead-weight for you? What about people?

2) Make a list of all the things you fear are going to happen to you in your economic LifeQuake. Now one by one, say each of them out loud. Notice where you feel the  anxiety in your body:  is it in your throat, your gut, or your heart? Breathe into that place.  Keep breathing there until it releases.

3) Now, ask yourself what is one thing I could do today that would simplify my life and put more money in my hands? Cut your cell phone expenses, shop at thrift stores. Have a garage sale. Take your lunch to the office. Buy some used free weights and get rid of your gym membership, etc.

4) Make a list of five changes you will initiate that will kick off Spring as a true breath of fresh air.

Part of the process of cycles ending is that as things are deconstructing, your life may look like chaos and crisis. Whether you are married or in a relationship, this can become exponentially stressful. So what do you do to avoid your partner having a contract hit made on your life?

1) Don’t stop exercising just because you’re depressed that you lost your job or work is down.  If you are getting bored with doing the same old routine, try something new. If you’ve been running on the treadmill or at the park, try including yoga twice a week. Not only does it reduce stress but it will in time make your body much more flexible. A flexible body leads to a more flexible mind. A flexible, calm mind is less reactive to your partner, not to mention more attractive than a couch potato body.

2) Reduce your caffeine and sugar intake in a time of stress.  Increase your magnesium intake. Most people living in western civilization are magnesium deficient. It is a critical mineral for our bones for sure, but our nervous system needs it to thrive as well. My colleague, Dr. Hyla Cass, has a wonderful brain formula that I would recommend to people who are in a LifeQuake –CassMD.com.  There are many nutritional supplements that can nourish your adrenals and nervous system so that you are able to adapt more easily to a time of transition. A calm nervous system can minimize the crisis response to this upheaval. You will find yourself less argumentative with your partner if your body is balanced even if the outside looks like total chaos.

3) Meditation or guided visualization can be extremely beneficial to moving through a LifeQuake. This allows you to awaken to the new level of your evolution without tremendous resistance to letting go of the old life.

4) Examine your beliefs about receiving help from your partner. You can’t ask for support, be it financial, emotional, or physical if you aren’t first comfortable with receiving it.

5) Explain to your partner that you need to change the definition and expectations of your relationship. You may need more alone time. If you ask for it, you don’t have to get it by picking a fight and alienating your spouse.

6) When we are in transition, we often feel a loss of identity and self worth.  Find new ways to feel valuable besides your career such as being a more supportive partner. If you have more time now, write little notes to your significant other letting them know how appreciative you are for your relationship and their love for you. Do things for your partner that you didn’t have time to do when you working at a higher capacity.

7) Get out and donate your time to a charity. Giving back to others transforms you from one who is going through a change to one who is a change agent for the world. This level of generosity attracts opportunity to you and moves you into discovering your vocation of destiny. When we are passionate about our work, we are passionate in our relationships. Yes, altruism can be sexy!

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, in practice in Santa Monica, Ca. She can be reached for consultation at 310-712-2600. Her new book, The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval

Dear Dr. Toni:

I am currently a financial analyst and very successful at it but have been having physical symptoms of extreme fatigue. I have been to two doctors about this. One was an endocrinologist who found that although my thyroid tested slightly overactive, he thinks the problem is that I am not coping well with stress. I don’t really enjoy my work anymore but I find when I’m not at work, I am still very tired so I am confused as to how this can be purely psychological. What do you think, doc?

Tired wired

Dear Tired,

First of all, if there is a thyroid issue—even if it is has been induced by stress—it will still affect you even when you are not in the stressful situation because your entire constitution starts to wear down. Also, traditional endocrinologists do not look at blood work the same way that holistic MDs or naturopathic physicians do. Andrew Weil, the famous holistic doctor, asserts that he treats the thyroid on the basis of symptoms rather than test results because the thyroid often shows irregularities long before they actually show up in the blood.

The American College for Advancement in Medicine (www.acam.org) is one resource for finding a holistic doctor in your area. I would also suggest that you begin to notice when you experience joy or interest through the course of your day. This is both at work and in your personal time. Pay attention to when your energy is better. Who are you with? What are you doing? I would spend three weeks jotting down data of when you find yourself feeling most alive. Your dreams are also clues to a possible transition you may be entering. If your thyroid is off, from a body psychology point of view, we would look at what is it you are not expressing. The thyroid is in the throat so when we are not expressing our authentic voice or saying what we really think in life, it can have physical effects. I would urge you to work with a coach or therapist on the psychological aspects of your fatigue as well.

Here is a recent excerpt from my column, “Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor,” which is applicable to many people who are currently searching for new lines of work. Rather than pigeon-holing yourself into a particular job title, explore other opportunities to use your skill set.

Dear Dr. Toni:
I am a 65-year-old woman who has a passion for teaching foreign languages but no one will give me a job. I moved 3,000 miles away to care for my dying daughter and since her death seven years ago, everything has gone wrong for me. I go on countless interviews, but to no avail. I hate where I live and am barely making ends meet. I am ready to give up. I have completely lost faith in myself.

Can you help?

Hopeless

Dear Hopeless:

My heart goes out to you on the passing of your daughter. Losing a child is probably the most devastating thing that can happen to an individual. Having said that, I would encourage you to do some grief counseling if you can and release all this pain. Perhaps you are not getting a job because you are not meant to express your gift as a teacher in a formal academic setting.

There are plenty of students outside the classroom who struggle with learning a foreign language and parents today get a tutor for everything. You might consider going on craigslist.org and posting an ad. Also, there are many private language institutes that could use retired teachers. What is most important to manifesting your desire is to visualize yourself teaching with all that passion every day. Create an affirmation such as, “I am now teaching in the perfect environment where my skills are effortlessly supported and well remunerated.” Speak it out loud everyday.

Good luck and don’t give up. A change is just around the corner if you keep the fire of your passion burning in your heart.