“You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.”

Dale Carnegie

The Power of Kindness in Managing Change

In my last newsletter, I indicated that I was writing a three part series on managing change in times of transition and that I would be giving the second tool of these three that address specifically how to do your day every day.
At this time of year and especially in these economically challenged times, many of us find there is so much to do and with fewer resources to do them with. For the past two weeks, the quality of kindness has been coming up in my consciousness as a place to expand into when I am feeling the most stressed. If we remember to first tap into our hearts when we deliver a request or address a behavior in another, not only does the recipient benefit, but we send a chemical reaction throughout our bodies that supports both the immune and nervous systems.

In the last chapter of my book The LifeQuake Phenomenon, I address the benefits of altruism not only as it applies to your personal well being but that as you become change adaptive, the final stage transforms you into an agent of evolutionary change for the world.

At this time of year when we tend to eat too much sugar and rush through our days, we put tremendous stress on our immune systems. The second tool that will help manage your stress and make it easier to cultivate kindness is called “The Emotional Pulse Technique” from Chapter 2 of my book.

“If your breath is shallow, there is a good chance you are anxious. Buy an inexpensive digital watch, or use your cell phone and set it to beep every three hours to remind you to learn this new habit. You can also always put it in your appointment calendar, if it is something you reference throughout the day.

By simply stopping every few hours and deepening your breath into
your body, you will develop a slower pace, greater energy, and peace of mind. Now, ask to be shown where you are holding negative emotions or physical discomfort. Breathe into this place and slowly exhale as you let go. Ask your body to show you a symbol for what you need right now to get back into peace. Now, bring your awareness to your heart and ask, “what can I do right now toward myself or another that would expand my ability to be kind and compassionate?”

Not only does this transform your stress pattern, but it also strength-
ens your observation and listening skills. The impact of a week’s worth
of this exercise will pleasantly surprise you, as you sense the foundation
within you becoming stronger. Turning within to calm yourself instills
trust that you can meet your own security needs without external paci-
fiers like food, alcohol, or mindless chitchat.”

I am also available to work deeply on these issues at the body, mind, and spirit level in person at my home office in Marin County, at your facility or business, or by phone, 310-890-6832 and Skype.

Peace to you now and always,
Dr. Toni

Dr. Toni Galardi is an organizational consultant, psychotherapist, career coach, and the author of The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval. She can be reached through her office at 310-712-2600 or her website, LifeQuake.net.

Dear Dr. Toni:
I hate the holidays. People are more unconscious in their driving, shopping, and general activities in their push to get to the next thing. If I could go away for the entire month of December, I would but I can’t. What do you suggest I do so I’m not such a Scrooge/curmudgeon this year?
The Bah Humbug Queen

Dear Reader:
As the sluggish economy drags on, unfortunately it has hurt charities who are dependent on people’s generosity at this time of year. In years past, it was a good balance to all the focus on the material side of the holidays. Now, not only are people not giving as much to non-profit organizations that support those less fortunate, they have less to spend in general and it has led to the skyrocketing of cheap addictions like the internet. However, one person who chooses to commit to living altruistically can make a difference.

Altruism, according to the Webster Dictionary means the unselfish concern for the welfare or well being of others. In my book, The LifeQuake Phenomenon, I discuss in the last chapter how this personality trait increases immune function, stabilizes neurotransmitters, and if practiced in balance with your own needs, leads to greater prosperity. The old ideas about being altruistic as something that requires self sacrifice are passe’.

This month is a great opportunity to focus away from what you can’t give your kids, family or friends and instead jumpstart 2011 by spending the holiday season of December giving your love away. When you want to yell at someone for being unconscious, shift into your heart and ask the question, “ What can I say here that is ultimately going to assist me in my well being after we part?” In the moment that we give in to reactive behavior, we can feel immediate relief but you will find you are more drained by anger than by using your breath to let the thought go and ask for a shift in your way of seeing the situation.

Choosing to focus your awareness throughout the day on being a stand for love is infectious. Just as when we are around someone who is angry or depressed, we can become less of ourselves, the opposite is also true. Smile when someone is reacting to their own self induced pressure.

Case in point, while I was waiting in line to purchase groceries, the woman in front of me was highly stressed. I thought she had forgotten her wallet as she leaned down to attend to her toddler in the stroller after paying for her purchases. I picked up the wallet to hand to her and she lashed out at me that she was coming back to get it. I stayed calm and loving and simply shared that I thought she had forgotten it and was trying to help. She then relaxed and responded by thanking me and apologizing.

Opportunities come up all day long to promote peace in the world. What are you doing today, to promote the well being of others and more joy for yourself?

Dear Dr. Toni:
I have been working in a prominent law firm with great benefits for five years. About a year ago, I started having these dreams in which I am no longer living in the city and am sitting in front of an easel and canvas outside a farm house. The canvas is blank but I have this peaceful look on my face.
The dream scares me because I have no way of supporting a life as an artist and yet I am really bored with my job. I do feel drawn to do something radically different and living in the country feels comforting but I can’t leave my job until I have a clear plan for what I am going to do next, not to mention health benefits.
What should I do, Dr. Toni?
Frustrated

Dear Reader:
First of all, I think it is marvelous that your unconscious mind is giving you messages. If you continue though, to do nothing with these messages, you will invite a crisis to force you to make the changes that will be authentic to your soul. Boredom is often the first stage of evolutionary change. It is a transition emotion. If we begin an inquiry into noticing what does interest us, our emotional tone will evolve. If we do nothing, boredom often devolves into depression and this is when addictions and illnesses often occur.

If you look at your life as a hero’s adventure, then dreams are meant to be clues to the direction of the voyage. Begin by taking day trips to places you feel drawn to where a farm house might exist. Notice how you feel when you’re there. Go to a small diner there or grocery store and reach out to the locals. By putting ourselves in the field of play, synchronicities can show up.

People can guide you to your next step that sitting at your desk or in your apartment you would never discover by yourself. And given that you’ve been receiving this dream for a year, once you do start to take action, before you go to sleep, ask to be shown the next step during the dreamtime. The blank canvas and peaceful look on your face can mean that this transition where you don’t have a “picture painted yet” can be a peaceful, easy process. When I work with clients by phone, I teach them how to stimulate dream recall and always have them record their dreams. Dreams can provide great guidance in times of transition.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, career coach, public speaker, organizational consultant, and the author of the book, The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval.
To submit questions for “Ask the LifeQuake Doctor” or if you would like to consult Dr. Galardi for SKYPE or phone coaching, she can be reached through her website at http://www.LifeQuake.net or 310-890-6832.

All Roads Lead To Rome or Home: Addressing Addiction in the Workplace

Prior to the Tiger Woods story breaking, Oprah did a show with Dr. Drew who was promoting his new intervention show on sex addiction. She opened the show with the statement (paraphrasing) that everyone has some kind of addiction, whether it be drugs, food, sex, the internet, or work. Although most people would agree with such a statement (and God only knows, when you’re in the field of addiction recovery, it seems to be true) it gave me pause to consider its validity.

In an attempt to prod corporate America to address addiction in the workplace, I have often cited examples of how this epidemic affects the bottom line beyond traditional forms of addiction such as substance abuse.

Does it go the way of the Roman Empire where gluttony and alcoholism were pervasive? America is known throughout the world as a religious nation, but are we a spiritual nation? If you go to church on Sunday, and then spend the rest of the week striving to fill a “soul hole” with substances or activities of questionable benefit, how does your spirit get fed?

Hats off to Oprah for emphasizing that without a spiritual connection, recovery is impossible. Now, if we could only translate that into the workplace more fully. I’m not suggesting that the word “God” become a corporate password. I do, however, think that as employees are being asked to work longer hours these days, hiring external consultants to open a dialogue around the root cause of addictive behavior in the workplace will substantially increase productivity.  And now more than ever, this is especially true in these challenging economic times. When people are turned on to their work, they don’t need to get turned on through substance abuse or internet distractions.

Years ago, I remember watching this elderly Chinese man cleaning tables in this empty restaurant after the lunch crowd had left. Now, I know this gentleman had probably washed thousands of tables in his time, and yet he was so focused and buoyant with the task at hand. When I asked him his secret, he said, “Meditation.” It turns out that he had been a Tai Chi practitioner for many years. Perhaps traditional meditation may not have much appeal for mainstream America, but there are guided visualization techniques that can definitely be initiated by anyone that can connect an individual to his internal landscape. When people devote time to an inner life, addiction recovery is made more possible, providing the opportunity for productivity to improve.

Here are some simple tips for turning within that are not time consuming:

1)   Before you get out of bed in the morning, imagine your coming day as if it is a movie. As you envision all the various details to be attended to, breathe into your belly.  Experience yourself relaxed and at peace while doing the most mundane tasks at work, especially the ones that send you into frenzy or distraction.

2)   Once you are at work, set a timer on your computer or cell phone to go off every three hours. When the timer goes off, find a place with some privacy (preferably in your office), sit back in your chair and close your eyes.  If need be, sit in a bathroom stall. Now, turn within and notice how you are breathing. Shift your breath, so that you focus on your belly as you breathe in and out. Notice any emotions that are stuck and direct your breath into those places until they dissolve.

3)   At the end of the day, before dinner or bed, sit in a chair and return to your breath. Notice where there is stress lodged in your body. Scan back over the day and intentionally release any negative feelings from events that you are still carrying with you so that you can sleep peacefully.

Normalizing addiction through the assumption “that everyone has at least one” could be a good thing if it takes away the shame and secrets most addicts carry. It becomes a slippery slope when we confuse what is normal with what is healthy.  Simple stress management techniques can have a transformative effect on addictive behavior. We do not have to go the way of an ancient empire and play the fiddle as Rome burns.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a public speaker, business consultant, columnist, and author of her new book, The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive not Just Survive in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval. Her website address is http://www.LifeQuake.net

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor – Vision Magazine

November 2010 Column

When the Brett Favre case (New York Jets football player) broke in the news with his alleged ‘sextexting’ and other sexually inappropriate behaviors toward a fellow employee of the league, I was called by an ABC affiliate station in San Francisco to  appear as a guest expert on 7 Live with Brian Copeland. This stimulated questions from readers on the sex addiction issue.

Dear Dr. Toni:

My husband has been having an affair and is denying it. Like Brett Favre, he has been using his phone to text a woman he works with conveying sexually suggestive messages. I busted him and he denies that they have taken it to a sexual level.  How can one tell if a person has a sexual addiction? Is it in the numbers? How many people they’ve slept with or if they’ve actually had sex with the person? Is an affair a sexual addiction?

Confused in San Francisco

Dear Reader:

You pose several issues in your letter.  Sexual addiction, like alcoholism is not about how much you act out, it is about how much does it disrupt your life and is it being used to avoid certain feelings.  An affair in and of itself is not a sexual addiction. It most certainly is a sign that the marriage needs addressing. An affair is a symptom of a problem within the relationship. Repeated sexual relationships outside of one’s marriage with various people can be a sign of a sexual addiction.

A sexual addiction is often not taken seriously in our culture. We think that anyone who can get that much action must be ok.  When I did the tv talk show on this subject, most of the audience and facebook responses did not take the issue all that seriously. Sex addiction can kill people just like drugs and alcohol.  You can put your spouse in jeopardy of getting AIDS and I have known clients who put their jobs in harms way. People who were sexually abused as children are vulnerable to this disease. Like all addictions, traumas in childhood can produce compulsive behavior through brain imbalance.

For those needing intensive treatment, there are three residential treatment centers that I know of who work with this addiction: Alta Mira Recovery Programs in Sausalito, California, Pine Grove Behavioral Health in Missisissippi, and The Bridge to Recovery in Kentucky.

Dear Dr. Toni:

My partner is driving me crazy. He once was employed at a private high school and is a gifted teacher. He loves working with kids and loves cooking but he is too old to get trained to be a chef. Due to budget cuts, he was laid off. He has had to take a job working in a butcher shop as it was the only person who would hire him. His age is a factor as he is about to turn sixty. The job involves a fair amount of physical labor and he threatens to quit every day when he comes home.

He is about to qualify for health benefits and will lose that and a steady income if he quits. I am scared he will quit and put us in financial jeopardy. What should I do?

He is having trouble sleeping at night and therefore I am having trouble sleeping at night. Should I let him quit his job?

Jenna

Dear Jenna:

As the economic recession drags on, many people are facing this dilemma.  Many educated people are taking jobs they are overqualified for.  I believe that the rise of addiction in the workplace may in part be due to people staying in jobs they should have moved on from but were afraid.  Employees are using social media, internet porn, or substances to avoid the uncomfortable feelings of no longer being challenged or as in your husband’s case, underutilized for his real talents.

The fear is real but there are creative solutions. I think the opportunity this presents is to find a way to work with kids that may not be in the conventional vein.  It has been reported that the wealthy are still doing pretty well. Finding a service you could provide that caters to those who do have financial resources may be an answer.  The key is to create something you actually love to do like working with animals so you start a dog walking service, etc. For example, if he loves working with kids and loves to cook, perhaps he could advertise on Craig’s list his abilities as both a nanny and cook for a family.  There are people who would love to have a teacher working for them.  With the trend toward home schooling, your husband could serve as a governess or some such thing. He could make a list of everyone he knows who knows wealthy people and put out the word.

You can certainly show him my column, but I wouldn’t advise taking this on for him. Let him figure this out and simply keep encouraging his efforts, period.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, vocational coach, public speaker, and author of The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval. She can be reached through her website at http://www.LifeQuake.net or for consultation at 310-712-2600

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Ask the LifeQuake Doctor

Dr. Toni Galardi

October Column

Autumn is officially here.  As someone who coaches people on the fear of change, I love the Fall. The green leaves turning such brilliant colors as they die.  Isn’t that a great metaphor for life? We are always in the process of dying every moment of our lives. The question is, do we live and die expressing our full passion in our work and relationships?

In keeping with my own philosophy, I decided to move to northern California because I always feel so joyous here.  What change can you make that would bring greater color to your leaves, I mean lives, that would make living the passing of each day without regret.

Dear Dr. Toni:

I have been following your column for a couple years now and I noticed on your website that you do dream interpretation. I don’t have the money to do phone coaching with you but I have had this dream I wondered if you could interpret.

I am approaching a forest like place but as I get closer, a tornado surrounds me. At first, I am frightened but it seems to move with me as I move toward the trees.  As I turn around and look behind me, my house has been destroyed. I keep moving and the tornado does not hurt me. When I go into the forest, it disappears. What do you think?

Dismayed in Berkeley

Dear Reader:

I do love working with people’s dreams. Dreams are a great vehicle for preparing for change. Dreams that involve natural disasters can often portend great changes in one’s life. Without knowing anything about your “day life” I would say this:  Your home may symbolize your foundation and security. The fact that it was destroyed but the tornado didn’t touch you is significant.

As you know, the eye of the tornado is often very peaceful so if you go into the center of yourself, perhaps through meditation, and yet keep moving forward, you will be safe. I also think that the metaphor of the forest is that “you might not be able to see the forest from the trees” in this transition, but, the lushness of the trees may represent that prosperity is coming from having ventured forth from all that was safe in your previous foundation. Just keep listening inside daily for what step to take next.

Dear Dr. Toni:

I am a divorced, single mother with two sons. I have my own business and do not go to bars. I am probably the last holdout in women my age who have not done internet dating. Because I have children, I question how safe it is to have men know my phone number and where I live.

What do you think about this for women who live alone with children?

Deborah H.

Dear Reader:

Dating period, is a crap shoot. Obviously, it is helpful to be introduced by a friend but the chances are slim of that happening very often so even if you meet someone in a class or at an event, you never know about people until you spend some time with them.

So, my advice is to get an answering service that is just where people can leave messages in cyberspace. They cost about $11 a month. If you don’t want them to have your number, many internet dating services have systems where you could communicate without your number being shown. Meet them away from your home and give out very little information until you feel comfortable that this is someone you want to see again.

However, I also would suggest that you release all fear and pre-conceived ideas about doing this new adventure. If you bring fear and paranoia to each date, you will draw out the worst in people. Internet dating gives you an opportunity to cast a wide net across the world. Be very specific in what you are looking for, share your authentic interests, and a picture that most looks like who you are now.

Good luck!

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, public speaker, and author of The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive ( not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval. She can be reached through her website for speaking opportunities at http://www.LifeQuake.net or for phone consultation at 310-712-2600.

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor

by Dr. Toni Galardi

September column

Well, summer is over and as we look to the season that brings both harvest and new beginnings, so as the leaves begin to die and turn brilliant colors, it is a great time to contemplate where in your life have things come to fruition and are in need of a new approach or palette for you to paint a new life design now.

Dear Dr. Toni:

I have been married for fifteen years and have a beautiful 10 – year – old girl that my husband and I both love very much. My husband and I have known each other for 20 years and started out as great friends. Until I met him, I primarily had romantic relationships with women. In fact I identified myself as as being gay. Then I became a Christian and very active in our church.

Recently I began to realize I was in love with a co-worker who has been promoted to become my boss. She is actually a few years younger than me and I resent taking orders from her. To make matters even more complicated, what I really long to do is have my own business but I need the paycheck. My husband and I tried to launch a business of our own but trusted the wrong people and it failed so we don’t have the savings for me to quit.  After my now boss became my boss she wrote me up for making sexual advances toward her although I felt I was simply appreciating how great she looked in her workout clothes.

I don know what to do. Should I look for another job? I’ve only been in this one a year and was fired from my last one because I had trouble taking orders.

Mixed Up

Dear Reader:

Well, there are many things operative here. “De Nile” ain’t just a river in Egypt.   When someone tells me they were gay until they became a Christian and got married, I find myself being very curious about exactly where those sexual feelings toward the same sex were put. Christianity or any formal religion cannot remove one’s natural inclinations. Now, had you told me you were bi-sexual prior to marrying, I would see this differently but there are many other things here to look at.

If your feelings for your boss are getting so obvious that she had to document them, you are clearly in the danger zone of being accused of sexual harassment. I encourage you to explore honestly if you are using your Christian beliefs to deny your true sexual preference.  Further, most people who are born to be entrepreneurs often have trouble taking orders from authority figures and keeping jobs because they have their own dream to make manifest and failing at one’s first business is not that uncommon.

Before you get fired again from this job, start exploring how to get potential investors, a small business loan, or a grant to begin launching your own mission and visit the local gay and lesbian center for counseling. They often provide services on a sliding scale. You need to address how you really feel about your husband and go into couple’s counseling to resolve this. Living authentically may come at a price but living a lie can ultimately cost you so much more.

Dear Dr. Toni:

My husband is a cheap tipper. It drives me crazy. Not only does he tip 15%, he doesn’t tip housekeeping when we go to a hotel. He also is not a big complimenter. I praise him all the time for how he dresses, what he does for me, and I tip the housekeeping staff when we travel thinking he will finally get the message but he doesn’t seem to. He never buys me any gifts but is a very generous lover so I’m perplexed. His position is that if he were to compliment me frequently, I wouldn’t appreciate it as much and he feels that 15% is adequate. Do you think there is a connection between emotional generosity and tipping the help well?

Frustrated

Dear Reader:

You don’t say how long you’ve been married or what his financial situation is. Some people will contract on tipping when they go through tough financial times. Waiters will tell you that tips have really been off the last 2 years. I also don’t know if this is a second marriage. Perhaps he was taken for a ride by his first wife.

Having said that, I do think there is a connection between being emotionally generous and financially generous.  We know from quantum physics that everything is manifested out of energy. Whether we are showing appreciation for our partner or to a waiter for good service, we are expressing gratitude and that registers energetically as expansiveness. Parceling out appreciation like coins from a change purse does not engender prosperity. Yes, there are millionaires who are known for being cheap tippers but having millions doesn’t make a person prosperous. There is an Italian word, “abbondanza”. It translates literally as abundance, but it mean more that, it also means class.  Italians are known for their generosity – with food, with laughter, with whatever they have.

Since he is a generous lover, tell him how sexy he is when he is generous with praise. How it turns you on.  Rent the film, “Dirty, Pretty Things” by Stephen Frears. It may provide some compassion from him for the service worker in hotels but more importantly, let him know how much it means to you when HE IS generous.

Buona Fortuna!

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, public speaker, and author of The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval. She can be reached through her website at http://www.LifeQuake.net or for consultation at 310-712-2600.

http://www.visionmagazine.com/archives/1006/1006_Lifequake_Toni%20Galardi.html

Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor Dr. Toni Galardi

Dear Dr. Toni:
I am working in Hollywood in a technical position that does not require a formal education. For many years, I only made $60,000 a year.  Due to a stroke of luck (which may be debatable) I was promoted to a director position with a production company and now earn over $300,000 a year. I know there are many people out there struggling so my problem may not seem very important but I don’t know where to turn.
After I became a director I started using cocaine at parties, which eventually graduated to daily use. I was dating a really sweet girl and began cheating on her with a lot of different women. I worked with one of these women and when I tried to break it off with her she called my girlfriend, and now my girlfriend will have nothing whatsoever to do with me.  She has agreed to meet me for couples therapy but not to get back together. I’m not sure if that is the answer for us. I think we just need to put this behind us and move forward. I am not seeing any of the other women anymore. What do you think we should do, Dr. Toni?
Bewildered in West Hollywood

Dear Bewildered:
I agree with you. I would highly suggest that you forget couples therapy too. What is called for, however, is not to expect her to simply move beyond your transgression because you say so. If you want to regain your girlfriend’s trust and use this crisis to grow into a more expanded self, I suggest you go into individual therapy and work on your self-esteem issues.  That you began acting out through sex and drugs when your income substantially increased is very telling.
You didn’t disclose your personal family history but it might be useful to explore with a therapist the beliefs you carry about making a lot of money. It feels to me that you are self-sabotaging out of feelings of unworthiness. What was your mother and father’s beliefs about money and power? I would also suggest you go to either an AA or CA (Cocaine Anonymous) meeting. I pick up a lot of arrogance from your letter. One of the steps in a twelve-step program involves making amends. I would recommend you call every woman you had gratuitous sex with and apologize. Besides doing your own therapeutic work, humble yourself and agree to your girlfriend’s terms and attend couples counseling as well.
Every “loss” has a gift for us if we choose to see it. Good luck with your journey to real esteem of self.

Dear Dr. Toni:
I am a stay-at-home mom and my husband has been laid off from work. He has been unable to get hired and he wants me to go back to work until he does. I was a teacher before we had children. I know I cannot make the kind of income that he was making and it seems silly to get a job teaching temporarily. He wants to give up our home, sell one of our cars, and live in an apartment until things turn around.  I do not think drastic downsizing is the answer. I am afraid we are going to end up stuck in a working class lifestyle with me as the only breadwinner.
My husband and I are really fighting over this issue and I don’t know what to do.  I don’t want to go back to teaching but I don’t know what else I can do. I can’t afford therapy or career counseling so I am writing you. Can you help, Dr. Toni?
Ruth A.

Dear Ruth:
You would be surprised at how many couples have had to do role reversal since the economy crashed. In my phone-coaching practice, I worked with a guy who lost his job in corporate America and then decided to develop an internet business finding rare parts for motorcycles and now has this niche business that is international. His wife is an accountant who works outside the home while he cares for their child and runs his home-based business.
Perhaps there is some kind of teaching you can do that is not in a formal academic setting. There are all kinds of seminar businesses where they train you to teach their material in the corporate workplace. Or perhaps you can start your own business teaching stay-at-home moms something you have a passion for. As for downsizing, I would suggest that you streamline your lives and cut out all the extraneous activities or expenditures before doing something as radical as selling the house, unless you are about to be foreclosed on. Empower your husband right now. He most probably feels terrible about not being able to provide for his family preventing you from being there for your children but you never know what gift lies in you moving back into a career and him spending more time with the children as he job hunts. Perhaps he can assist you in developing a home-based business while he continues his job search. Start doing some research and get outside your box. Change is gain, my dear!
 
To submit questions for Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor, contact Dr. Toni Galardi through DrToni@LifeQuake.net (no period after the Dr). For those seeking phone coaching, Dr. Toni can be reached at 310-712-2600.