The LifeQuake Blog

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor

May issue Vision Magazine

Dear Readers:

The response to my notice that I am redirecting this column to include astrology and dreams has been overwhelming. Please note that I cannot respond to everyone’s request for me to look at your chart in this column but when I do, I do not include the specific birth info to protect confidentiality. However, I am offering to Vision magazine readers a 20% discount if you would like to experience a one on one personal astrological session. Call my office at 310-890-6832 to schedule it.

Dear Dr. Toni,

   My birth date is ______and my mother said my time of birth was 7:20 pm (though she wasn’t very sure) and my place of birth is __________. 

     I have been having the most vivid, scary dreams lately of being of being chased by someone attempting to murder me.  I awake terrified and then turn on the television to avoid going back to sleep.  There is always some minor variation in the dreams…either someone I am with (usually a friend or a family member) is being stalked to be killed and I am trying to protect them while running for my own life, or the stalker is out to get me…and I am hiding in houses and running in the dream to avoid my killer.

   My life challenge is this. I am nurse.  I have been one since 1996 and I have stopped enjoying what I do.  I even went back to school to become a NP because I thought my unhappiness dwelt from being stagnant in my role as a RN.  But even in this new role, I am ill-tempered, impatient and frustrated with the patients, the staff and medicine as a whole. I am driving my friends nuts with my constant complaining about my jobs (which I have had 4 in past 3 yrs due to my quitting).  I have been meditating, visiting gurus, reading esoteric literature and going to spiritual hotspots around the globe all in search of inner peace/nirvana to endure my daily job.  What is my unhappiness really stemming from?  Can it really just be nursing?

Unhappiness in life’s purpose

Dear Reader:

The information that looking at your chart gives me is so much greater than if I were to simply be answering your question as a psychotherapist.

You are on the right track in choosing a health related profession. However, you need to be doing something that slows you down. You have a very sensitive nervous system and tend to over react to the environment and others. You need to keep your kidney/adrenal channels well supported. One thing that does this is meditation and eating foods that calm you down like protein, veggies, and whole grains and eliminating caffeine and sugar from your diet.

Your chart also shows that a profession that is more in the energetic healing area could be better for you. A place to begin is to add things like Qi Gong, yoga, or tai chi while you are still working at the job you have so you can move through your day with greater flow.

You are in what is called The Uranus Opposition that occurs between age 40-42 typically. Uranus is the planet of radical change and pushes us to be more authentic to who we really are. The person in your dream who is attempting to murder you is a part of yourself. Sit quietly, go back into the dream and face the murderer. Ask him or her to identify themselves and what is it that they want from you?

I would also suggest spending 20 min a day in a quiet space. After you spend 10 minutes just turning within breathing in and breathing out, visualize yourself in a place in nature that is calming for you. Allow a person to become present who identifies him/herself as a wise spiritual guide. Ask this person to show you a symbol (the unconscious likes to speak to us in symbols) for what your next step is. Then write the question out with your dominant hand. Using your non-dominant hand, write your answer.

You may not get a clear answer right away but don’t give up.

I want to reiterate that you are being called to move from a health profession to a healing profession that focuses on energy healing rather than structural healing that is medication and/or vitamin and herbal supplements oriented.

I also see that it would also be more beneficial to you to be self – employed rather than working for someone else. Teaching or consulting would be great for you. Perhaps begin with enrolling in a health-coaching program and develop an independent practice gradually while still getting a paycheck from your current job. These programs often include teaching how to market your business as well.

You can email The LifeQuake Doctor for questions that she will answer in her column here at DrToni@LifeQuake.net or go to her website for free articles, a chapter of her book The LifeQuake Phenomenon, and a recording of a free teleclass. To purchase products as well go to http://www.lifequake.net.

February 2013

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor

I am feeling very encouraged about the state of the world. More and more people are talking about the power of love. Although this month is dedicated to love, I truly want to encourage you to look for opportunities to spread love wherever you can throughout the year. So many people write me about their love problems. I want to invite all of you, dear readers to keep a log this month that documents all the moments in your life throughout the day where you felt the presence of love.

Dear Dr. Toni:

I am a fifty- year – old divorced woman. I don’t have any children. I am in great shape physically. I am educated, attractive, fun, and …lonely. I work from home and find it difficult to meet men. I live in a big city where there are many beautiful young women and so, men do not look at me anymore.

What should I do, Dr. Toni? I don’t want to grow old alone.

Feeling Desperate

Dear Reader:

The first step before you do anything external is to release your beliefs about your age being a detriment. What we believe does become our reality. Imagine a pink bubble of light and then send that belief into it and allow it to be dissolved. Next, fill up your heart with an abundance of love and affection for yourself until you are filled with joy.

Now, imagine yourself in a relationship with someone you feel truly at home with, completely yourself. Imagine that this person loves you and you love him. Let yourself have the feeling of being with someone who feels like your soulmate. Neither of you is afraid of commitment. Both of you are ready to truly be in a relationship.

Now, notice what feelings emerge? Does that scenario scare you? If it does, you have some internal work to do before you are ready to take action. If it doesn’t, then energize this visualization for three weeks without making any big external efforts like joining a dating service, etc.

At the end of three weeks, begin noticing men in the supermarket and smiling. When you’re in the elevator, smile to everyone. Show up AS love everywhere. Fill your tank with love from the environment as well. Buy yourself your favorite flowers. Walk in nature. Make physical contact with people you know by giving them a long hug. Just keep gathering opportunities to feel love and THEN if you haven’t met someone spontaneously, sign up for an internet dating site but don’t stop doing these practices I suggested.

Cupid is everywhere. Let his arrows inoculate you against feeling separate from the world and its love potential.

Dear Dr. Toni:

I am a lawyer visiting Los Angeles from another state. I read your column while sitting at a coffee house and got this impulse to write you. I figured, “what the hell.” I have been handling criminal cases as a lawyer for 30 years. I am so burnt out. My practice is dwindling because my heart just isn’t in it but I don’t know what to do next.

I have started having some health issues. My cholesterol is sky high and so is my blood pressure. The stress of my income dwindling and not knowing what to do next is killing me. Do you have any suggestions, doc?

James

Dear James,

It is no wonder that your blood pressure and cholesterol are so high. These symptoms may have to do with a blocked heart. You actually said,  “your heart isn’t in it anymore.” I would suggest that you stop using words like “killing me”. Your body hears you, believe me.

Secondly, at the end of every day, scan the day and pay attention to what you were doing that gave you energy or that you found yourself interested in.

Thirdly, make a list of every skill you’ve acquired throughout your career. Then a second list of tasks you do in your work that you really enjoy.

And lastly, ask a few people you know professionally to share with you what they see in you that stands out as a talent or skill that could be transferred into another profession.

When I work with my clients on discovering what their next calling is, I take them through those steps. Further, there is one more step. Finding your calling is getting still enough to hear the call. Taking 15 min in the morning to get still and open your mind to receive an answer is the best possible way that allows for synchronicity to show up. For example, you may meet someone at your local coffee house that is doing something that could use your skill set in a new business they are forming. Opening up to miracles involves merely allowing for a change in your perception of how your career could transition easily into a vocation of destiny.

Dr. Toni Galardi is the author of The LifeQuake Phenomenon, a professional speaker, and career strategist. She works by phone with people all over the world. Call now for an appointment at 310-890-6832. You can also email the LifeQuake Doctor for questions that she will answer in her column here at DrToni@LifeQuake.net.

January column

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor

Whew! We made it into 2013. The world didn’t end but there certainly has been much upheaval. Climate disasters, devastating school massacres, and a continuing unstable economy has most people around the world feeling fear about what will unfold in 2013.

So here is my suggestion. Every time you hear something grim on the news, take a moment and surround that crisis or challenge with a pink bubble of unconditional love. Then do this with every problem you have. Sending love is a powerful tool to assist in the transformation of our planet.

Dear Dr. Toni:

I have been reading your column for several years and enjoy it very much. My husband died of cancer a year ago. I have been living in the same city for 15 years but am feeling a pull to move to a new city in Mexico where there is an artist community. I am an artist, too. I am scared to uproot myself alone in my 60’s. I have the means to do it, just not the guts.

What is the best way to figure out if this is the right decision? And I am also concerned about timing. How does one know when the right time is to make a move?

A faithful reader

Dear Reader:

There are a number of ways to make relocation decisions. I myself have relocated 4 times in my adult life. One way is to work with an astrologer who can look at your chart and the charts of places you want to relocate to in order to determine if the city of inquiry is best for what you want. For example, if you want to emphasize your career, you might choose a city that would enhance those possibilities. If you wanted to emphasize partnership or marriage, it may be a different location. An astrological reading can also give you information on good times to move versus other times.

Another approach to this is to set an intention before going to sleep to get intuitive information from the dreamtime. Do this over and over again until you get an answer but write down any dreams you have in the morning. If you write your dreams down it will stimulate more dream recall. When we are asleep, we leave the reality of linear time and are able to travel so to speak to the future that already exists in a parallel universe. I have received many messages in my dreams that did not come to pass until at least 6 months later.

It has been documented that people have been given premonitions about future events like earthquakes, plane crashes, and people dying before they happened. Keeping a record of your dreams will strengthen your intuition.

The third way of accessing wisdom for major life decisions like relocation is to meditate. For most people in the West, learning to quiet the mind takes time and discipline and is the slowest means of developing one’s intuition. Never the less, it has many other benefits such as stress management and enhancing mental focus so I am always an advocate for developing a meditation practice.

Trust where the energy is taking you and if you are having trouble with trust, work with a coach who knows how to clear emotional blockages that are preventing you from hearing the truth for yourself.

Dear Dr. Toni:

Since you are a dream expert, what does it mean when you keep dreaming that you’ve gone back to school. I have no plans of going back to school so I just wondered what the message is.

A reluctant student

Dear Reader:

If we look at this as a metaphor, I would ask you to reflect on what school symbolizes to you. What was the emotional tone of the dream? Were you happy or anxious about being back in school? What level of education was it? Grammar school, college, or graduate school?

I would say that you are being called to either get more traditional education or you are in a new spiritual initiation. Pay attention to these dreams to see if they change at all. Does the emotional tone of the dream change as well. Before you go to sleep, ask a question of your unconscious to answer you in your dreams.

Then notice in your waking life if there is a new level of consciousness showing up in your thoughts. Pay attention to your thoughts by being a witness to them.

Working with a therapist who is trained in dream analysis can also support a time of great transition.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed Jungian based psychotherapist, dream analyst,  astrologer, and career coach. She can be reached at 310-890-6832 for personal consult or if you would like a question answered, write her at DrToni@LIfeQuake.net.

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor – Vision Magazine

July 2012

Dear Dr. Toni:

You have mentioned that you interpret dreams in some of your past columns. I am a 47 – year – old single white female professional. I live alone and am currently not in a relationship. I have been having dreams of this man in my life that is my husband. I have never met this man in real life but he seems so real. He is kind and loving and wants to take care of me.  I find that I can’t wait to go back to sleep to reconnect with him. My waking life has become rather boring. I am not feeling challenged by my job anymore and I am not dating very much. Why is this man coming to me in my dreams?

Jane E.

Dear Jane:

Well, Jane, you give the phrase “the man of my dreams” a literal interpretation! Seriously though, your dream can have many different interpretations.  Let’s first look at the emotional tone of the dream. You feel joyful in the dream, fulfilled it sounds. This is a stark contrast with your waking life. Freud once said that dreams were compensatory. Whatever we lack in our daily life, we live out in the dreamtime.

I would go further than this. Jung would see the man in your dreams as your inner male, the animus. He is taking care of you in a way perhaps you are not taking care of yourself. The dream may also be saying that in order for you to bring in the kind of husband you would like, you must first be a good husband to yourself in your waking life. The inner male in us is who makes things happen on the outside. Part of taking care of yourself may involve making some changes in your work. Spend some time observing what you do find yourself feeling interested in. Keep a list. Then review the list and see if there is a theme that connects the dots. Commit to taking one action step a week to expand or reconstruct your professional life.

Take a class that can improve your skill set or can simply bring more interests into your life now. The dreamtime will not have to compensate for your lackluster day life if you design and implement a new blueprint for a fulfilling new destiny.

Dear Dr. Toni:

From time to time you have mentioned astrology in your columns. Can astrology help in making better choices in relationships? I seem to draw in people into my life that continually disappoint me and I just wonder if I am destined to never find love in this lifetime. Your thoughts, please.

Frustrated Leo

Dear Reader:

Astrology can indeed help in making better choices but it begins by shedding some insight for you on yourself and your patterns in relationships. Having an astrological reading can illuminate for you how you love and whom you choose to love, what your sexual style is and your bonding patterns.  With a good astrologer, you can see what beliefs you have carried about love and commitment from childhood and other lifetimes. For example, if you also have the planet Venus in the sign of Leo in your chart besides your sun sign, you may need a lot of attention and perhaps have been too demanding with your partners to fill your needs so you may always end up disappointed at what they provide for you.

Once you have done the inner work of healing old patterns and you do bring someone into your life, there is something called synastry and composite charts that can be drawn with that person and it will show compatibility, likelihood of duration in the relationship, sexual chemistry, and the lessons to be learned from one another. It is often a good thing to use also with couples who are having challenges as a marriage or relationship counseling tool.

Comparing the charts of family members can definitely enhance understanding and harmony. It can also be used as a parenting tool to better understand your child and communicate with that child in the language that will increase communication and rapport.

So yes, astrology is definitely a tool I use in my practice as both a psychotherapist and as a transitions coach to assist my clients in understanding themselves and others as well as helping me to guide and prepare them for upcoming changes in the next year. I’ve seen its efficacy many times over the course of the past twenty years and feel it is a great asset to me in supporting the unique destiny of each of my clients.

Have a question for the LifeQuake Doctor? Send your questions directly to DrToni@LifeQuake.net.

Dr. Toni is very excited to share with you a new unique program this summer called LIFE SCHOOL. Jack Canfield, Barbara Marx Hubbard, and Mantak Chia are joining me in this telesummit that will run through the fall. sign up here to participate free: http://www.thisislifeschool.com/?affID=76

For those seeking personal guidance from Dr. Toni, she can be reached through her website, http://www.lifequake.net and her office at 310-890-6832. Discover a new passionate life direction through a soul blueprint reading or her career repurposing telephone coaching called The LifeQuake Method. Call today and give yourself the gift of working with Dr. Galardi so you can expansively move through the second half of this year of massive change.

Vision Magazine June 2012 Lifequake Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor …
Summer officially begins this month, and with it comes an exchange of energies from the planets Uranus and Pluto and our dear Sun. In early June we have a …
www.visionmagazine.com/…/1206_Lifequake_ToniGalardi.ht…

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor – April 2012

Spring is here. Time for Spring Cleaning Your Inner Home.

I will be giving a seminar on how to create an abundant life, Italian style on May 20. Call 310-890-6832 for more information.

Dear Dr.Toni:

I am a thirty seven year old woman who is in love with a married man. I have never written to an advice columnist before. I probably should be talking to a shrink but it is late on a Saturday night and I read your column online and on impulse thought I would start here. Perhaps you respond to your readers personally and perhaps you are reading this on the weekend by some miracle.

Anyway, the man I am involved with is my boss. I make good money and do not want to leave a job I love in a bad economy. It seems so cliché. He is never available on weekends. We work a lot of nights together and travel together for work. I want to have a family and I know he isn’t leaving his wife anytime soon. I have gone around and around in my head as to what to do and it always comes back to the fact that I don’t want to leave my job and I cannot seem to break it off with him when I see him every day.

What Should I do?

Desperate

Dear Reader:

You are not alone. Many people find themselves in this situation when you work closely with another employee or employer. You didn’t mention how you are spending your time away from the office. I would not suggest trying to take something away that provides life force like a lover or career does.  Instead, look at your lifestyle. Do you like to dance? What about joining a dance class on the weekend? Do you like museums? Find out what museum exhibits are going on in your city on the weekends.  Do you like travel for leisure? Since you are making good money, take a foreign language course and travel to that country in 6 months.

I would also suggest that you consider going to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous for community support. Cultivate friendships with women. GO to MEETUP.org and attend groups that enjoy the same interests as you do. Finally, start dating other men in addition to your married lover. Go on match .com and just start meeting people for coffee and making new friendships with men. When you stop isolating and develop a life outside of work, your dependence on this man will change. I would also suggest developing a meditation or spiritual practice. Hold both you and loverboy each in your own ball of radiant light and envision the attachment being dissolved by light so that you can each go to a higher vibration in your separate destinies.

Good Luck!

Dear Dr. Toni:

I think I have an addiction to sugar. I don’t eat candy bars. I don’t consume sugary drinks. I eat organic foods. I exercise. I drink green tea and plenty of water. However, I LOVE dark chocolate. I love it in protein bars. I love it in pure cacao form. I love it in chocolate chip cookies. You get my drift here.

I am an educated professional woman who is also single. Is my addiction to chocolate psychological because I live alone or do I have some kind of nutritional deficiency? Would love your feedback on what to do here.

Choco junkie

Dear Reader:

I do not know if your chocolate attachment is either of those so let me address both possibilities.  What are your associations to chocolate? What did it mean to eat it as a child? Is it connected to happy events or was it used as emotional self – medication when you felt angry or sad? And how often now do you eat it when you are happy versus unhappy?

As for it being a possible nutritional deficiency, dark chocolate contains a large number of antioxidants. Chocolate is made from plants, which means it contains many of the health benefits of dark vegetables. Antioxidants protect the body from aging caused by free radicals, which can cause damage that leads to heart disease. Dark chocolate contains a large number of antioxidants (nearly 8 times the number found in strawberries). Flavonoids also help relax blood pressure through the production of nitric oxide and balance certain hormones in the body.

Chocolate also contains other substances with mood elevating effects. One is phenethylamine, which triggers the release of pleasurable endorphins and potentiates the action of dopamine, a neurochemical associated with sexual arousal and pleasure. Phenethylamine is released in the brain when people become infatuated or fall in love.

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Chocolate also boosts brain levels of serotonin. Women typically have lower serotonin levels during PMS and menstruation, which may be one reason women typically experience stronger cravings for chocolate at these times in their cycles. People suffering from depression so characteristically have lower serotonin levels that an entire class of anti-depressive medications called serotonin uptake inhibitors (including Prozac, Paxil, and Zooloft) have been developed that raise brain levels of serotonin.

Look at ingredients. 85% pure cacao beans will seriously reduce the fat and sugar intake to get the most health benefit from it. Coracao Confections (a company in Berkeley carried by Whole Foods) make theirs raw with coconut sugar, which is low on the glycemic index so your blood sugar doesn’t spike.

Enjoy in moderation and make sure you are getting adequate doses of real emotional connection with others as well.

The Global Wealth for Women Summit is still going on.  Sign up here for free recordings and free gifts from speakers like John Gray, Marci Shimoff and Dr. Toni Galardi. http://wealthforwomensummit.com?ap_id=ToniGalardi

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, professional speaker, life transitions strategist, and author and is available for consult by phone or SKYPE. . You can reach her through her website, http://www.lifequake.net or DrToni@LifeQuake.net, or 310-890-6832.

Vision Magazine

Spring is coming and with it will come some interesting astrological transits. We haven’s seen this kind of line up from the stars since the tumultuous era of major social movements in the 1960’s. It has been suggested by many futurists that we will see war again.  I urge you all to clean house internally of your own self – limiting beliefs that put you at war with yourself. What happens on a global level occurs within each of us first – and that is the good news – we can change the world from within!

Dear Dr. Toni:

I have been an entertainment executive for 10 years. I need to keep the details a bit obtuse. I have to be very discrete. I have been very successful at what I do, I know a lot of famous people, and I feel dead inside. I feel like I am phoning it in. I know I need to leave my job. I even know what I want to do. I want to be a writer. Lately I’ve been having dreams in which I’m flying and have wings on my back. I see this light above me and it is calling me and then I look down and I see the world in its suffering and I find myself starting to fall. I’ve also had a recurring dream about earthquakes. What is this about?

What should I do? I picked up this magazine while having coffee on impulse because I’m not a new-agey person and haven’t been religious for a long time.  So, my question is, should I quit my job? I have money to live on for a year but then what?

Confused, Wannabe Scribe

Dear Reader:

Dreams can give us very prescient information. We know now that there is no such thing as linear time – past, present, and future. When we are asleep, our mind is able to step out of this present reality and step into what we think of as the future.  In my practice as a change strategy coach, I have my clients begin from the first session keeping a pad of paper next to their beds. You are fortunate. Most people do not remember their dreams until they learn how to stimulate dream recall.

So, let’s look at this dream: You are flying with wings on your back. This may be symbolic of transcendence. As you look up, you see the light and it is CALLING YOU. When you look down, you start to fall as you see the part of the world that is suffering. If this were my dream, I would say that I am being called by my soul to express that in me that lifts me up, expresses my passion, makes me lighter.  Looking down is a metaphor for a perception of reality that focuses on the world’s lack.

There are many blessings in this world and when you are expressing your full potential self, you can see them. You don’t say how old you are but life is short. Pursue your dream and trust that you will be in the right place with the right people and right opportunities in a year. I would also suggest that this dream is saying that you are being called to develop the spiritual side of yourself. This is a dream about you evolving, transcending the negative ego that is telling you to hold onto false security.

Now, about your earthquake dreams. In my book The LifeQuake Phenomenon, I share that earthquakes are a metaphor for us. We came from Mother Earth and just like her, we also have layers around our core. These layers are made up of our  false programming. When the soul decides to emerge in a more authentic form, it puts pressure on these layers through the fault-lines just like in earthquakes and a crisis shows up in our lives that forces us to wake up. My sense is that your unconscious is warning you: If you do not take action and follow what you are being called to do next, you will bring in a crisis to assist your soul in its path.

Picking up this magazine was indeed a divine coincidence. I hope you pick it up again and read my response! I want to add one more thing and this is for all of us, many people are having earthquake and tsunami dreams these days. I do think we will see more earthquakes and that the east coast will experience them again as well. However, I think it is our mass consciousness that is in upheaval as we go through this next evolutionary transition and it is our consciousness that may affect earth changes. Remember, what we know from quantum physics, there is no separation between organisms, we are all one. When we make brave choices that express our authentic selves, the world thrives.

Monday Mar 5th I will be interviewed live at 4:20 PST on Read My Lips with Bonnie Graham, http://bit.ly/ReadMylips_030512, call in for questions: 310-807-5219.

I will be speaking on The Wealth for Women Global Summit along with 17 powerful New Thought Leaders that include Marci Shimoff and John Gray. Just by signing up you will have access to $500 in free gifts and 90% off all the services of these amazing speakers. Go to http://wealthforwomensummit.com?ap_id=ToniGalardi to join us. My interview will air Tuesday, Mar 27 at 1:00 PM, PST.

Dr. Toni Galardi is an author, licensed psychotherapist, professional speaker, and life transitions strategist and is available for consult by phone or SKYPE. . You can reach her through her website, http://www.lifequake.net or DrToni@LifeQuake.net, or 310-890-6832.

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor

February Column

Dear Readers:

As we enter the second month of 2012, so much has begun to happen in our country already.  The world truly is in a major transition as old structures are breaking down so that new ones that are more fitting to this century can be constructed.

As this is the month dedicated to love, I would like to suggest that everyone reading this column, take a moment, and send love out to all of humanity for about five minutes. And on Valentine’s Day, if you are not in a relationship, call five people who have really supported you in your life and communicate all the ways you love and appreciate their place in your life. Appreciation is the gift we give ourselves…

Dear Dr. Toni:

I am 47 years old. I work in corporate America in a high level position. I am a single woman who is stressed out! I follow your column when I stop for coffee. I know there is a more spiritual approach to my job but it seems that unless I am tough, I am not taken seriously.

Recently, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. My doctor suggested I learn how to meditate. Who has time to meditate? Can you give me some quick suggestions for managing my stress before I burn out completely.

Jane ( not my real name)

Dear Jane:

Yes, I can. Move to Italy. I’m joking. Actually, Italians are coping better with these tough economic times because they have a lifestyle that supports producing high levels of oxytocin. What neuroscience is showing us is that people who have high levels of oxytocin are more resilient and adaptable in the face of constant and sudden change.

You say you don’t have time to meditate. Meditation can take only 10 minutes. Many people in western society struggle with quieting their minds so the traditional meditation can be challenging. I produced seven guided visualizations for helping people adapt to change called The LIfeQuake Method. If you go to my website, http://www.lifequake.net/products, you can purchase it as well as my book and other products that are free and will support you in managing a life that is fraught with constant stress.

Here are some tips I devised for thriving in business, Italian style.

1) Maintain an intimate connection with whomever you relate to as family. Oxytocin rises when we feel connected emotionally to others.

2) Be like my Italian grandmother who hugged everyone. Place your hand on someone’s shoulder or ask them if they want a hug if they are stressed, even if you don’t know them very well. The worst thing that will happen is they will say no.

3) Love your body just the way it is. Italians love curves and we all have curves, even men over forty.

4) Prayer is very important in the Italian culture.  They pray to the Pope and the saints. (Many believe Frank Sinatra is one now!) My version of that is, meditate and ask for spiritual guidance. Take a few moments during the day and move your breath into any places where there is constriction in your body and then think of three things you are grateful for. And if that doesn’t work, put Andrea Bocelli’s “Romanza” on your Ipod for a few minutes!

5) Avoid extreme diets that do not allow for enough complex carbohydrates.

“Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.” Sophia Loren

If you live in a gluten free world, eat brown rice pasta. Chop a couple tomatoes, saute some garlic in olive oil and then throw that over the pasta. You wouldn’t believe how much that increases serotonin, and that elicits calm and joy.

6) Stoke the fire of your sensuality even if you are single and celibate for the moment. The core of sensuality is being aware of all your senses.  When you put lotion on your body, really pay attention to how your skin takes it in. When you’re cooking or someone else is cooking, enjoy the smells then be present to all the flavors of the food you eat at each meal.

7) The Italians take a nap in the afternoon after the midday meal. If you work in a place where that is not possible, take part of your lunch break and go out to your car.   Getting enough rest is one of the biggest challenges Americans have and yet it is a major anti-aging practice. The billionaire Armand Hammer took a nap in his office every day.

Unfortunately, it took a heart attack for him to get this. Endometriosis is now being called the “executive woman’s disease”. You may not think you can afford the time but can you afford the exorbitant hospital bills you will incur if you don’t slow down There is an expression in Italy when people get stressed out about not getting everything done. “ Domani. Ci sono sempre domani”.  Translated: tomorrow, there is always tomorrow.

Jane, if you engage in these practices you will tap into your inner Sophia Loren and the other Sophia as well – the goddess of wisdom.  Buona Fortuna!

Do you want to work on YOUR stress levels?

Call me for coaching and I will teach you what I learned from my Italian family on how to have a fun, passionate life. 310-890-6832

I will also be giving a tele-workshop beginning March 27- may 8 for seven Tuesdays in 2012 on using the seven secrets I learned from my Italian grandmother for developing serenity, sensuality, and security to make your business thrive.

I am calling it “Abbodanza: Creating Prosperity the Italian Way”.  Call today for the early bird discount. 310-890-6832.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, life transitions strategist, and author and is available for consult by phone or SKYPE. . You can reach her through her website, http://www.lifequake.net,  DrToni@LifeQuake.net, or 310-890-6832.

January  2012 Issue Vision Magazine

Whew! Another year is gone and we are finally in 2012.  Honestly, I doubt the world is going to end this year but I think that life as we’ve known it is coming to an end. The economic contraction has given us all pause to really think about what we value and put our time and money into, as well as examining the nature of the economic structure of Wall Street, banking, and The Federal Reserve.

On a practical note, look at creating goals for 2012 that will nourish your body, mind, and spirit.

Dear Dr. Toni:

I own a small business with a partner.

My business partner and I are having some major communication breakdowns. We own a business that involves both marketing, new product creation, and manufacturing. I handle the marketing and the accounting. He handles the manufacturing and product development. His job requires him to supervise staff in the manufacturing arena that has become all consuming and isn’t allowing him to spend time in new product development. My job involves more interface with the public and stores we are approaching to carry our products.

He feels that I have the easy job and he has the hard one and resentment is building with him over this erroneous perception. Hi boyfriend broke up with him a few months ago and I think that this is contributing to his resentment. I have a girlfriend and a personal life. He is not enjoying his life outside our business.  What would you suggest I do? Should we part ways? We have a lot invested in this business and a year of our lives.

Can you help? Should we get a business coach? We just don’t have a lot of extra money to spend on an outside consultant.

John

Dear John:

I think it is premature for you to part ways.  If you perceive that your job is as taxing as his, perhaps sitting down with a mutual friend who can play mediator might help.

I would suggest that you explain to your partner what makes his contribution so valuable to the company. Then I would explain what you go through to get the business customers. I would explore with him what are some things he could be doing in his off hours to restore his wellbeing. Perhaps it might be worthwhile to write down your financial goals for 2012 and include that part of the additional income you bring in be line itemed toward hiring a part time supervisor so that he can spend more time doing the creative side of the business that he enjoys in product development.

You may find that there are business coaches who might be willing to work with you once a month just to keep you two continuing to build better communication. I have certainly been willing to do that with my consulting business.

Good luck!

Dear Dr. Toni:

I am thirty years old, a guy, never been married and am in love with this girl who is driving me crazy. She tells me she loves me, then she goes off to India, comes back and tells me she was with this wealthy guy when she was away but she still loves me. By the way, we met while she was still ending a relationship with a friend of mine. She’s gorgeous. Men are just so hot for her and I feel flattered she wants to be with me. I just don’t know if I can trust her. Would love your advice as to rather I should cut and run or stick it out and see where this goes.

Crazed and in Love

Dear Reader:

What is not clear to me is what do you want in a relationship at this pointing your life? Do you want a monogamous, committed relationship or do you want a love affair where both of you are free to see other people? It sounds like you are taken with the fact that she wants you in spite of other men being interested and that is seductive for you. However, can you handle her free spirit and allow her and you the freedom to be open to others? The only way this will work is for you to get clear.

If you want a committed relationship, then put your sword in the ground and ask for what you want. If you’re ok keeping it loose, start dating other girls immediately and let her know you are doing so. This may clarify things for both of you.

May all my readers have a  2012 that  brings gentle expansion and awesome evolutionary change!

I will be giving a teleclass January 17. Please call 310-890-6832 for more information or write me at: DrToni@LifeQuake.net.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, life transitions strategist, and author and is available for consult by phone or SKYPE. . You can reach her through her website, http://www.lifequake.net,  DrToni@LifeQuake.net, or 310-890-6832.

Dear Readers:

The holidays are upon us. I think there is a really good spiritual reason why Thanksgiving kicks off the holiday season and it is not the nirvana that comes with getting great deals at Target the day after “turkey overload”.

I would like to challenge each and every one of you to stoke the fires of gratitude in your heart the entire month of December. A great way to do that is by keeping a file on your computer of daily incidences you experienced or witnessed that you are grateful for.  When your mind starts to turn toward areas of lack in your life, pull out that list, it will instantly uplift your spirits and allow you to have a peaceful holiday season and 2012.

Dear Dr. Toni:

I have been a widow for four years.  We were married for thirty years. My husband was a prominent lawyer in San Francisco who fought legal battles for both the rich and famous and those cases that were pro bono. We had a very exciting life together. I have not been interested in meeting anyone else. Last summer I went to my 40 year high school reunion and reconnected with my first boyfriend.  He expressed interest in seeing me and I refused at first. He pursued me long distance and I finally agreed to his visiting me.

We have been dating now long distance ever since. Recently, I broke it off.  We really come from different worlds now and I don’t think I want to be with someone who cannot afford the lifestyle I have become accustomed to.

Although my children are adults and do not live at home, they are very threatened by this man’s presence in my life. They do not want to see another man in their father’s home. I have told them that this is my home now. My sister who still lives in the same town as this man, thinks I am crazy for giving up someone who has been so good to me emotionally. I am confused. I don’t know what to do. I have to admit that the sex with this man and the devotion I received I did not have with my husband although he was generous and a good man. He just wasn’t experienced.  I was his first, sexually. This man was my first and my husband was my second but my former boyfriend has been divorced for 10 years and has had a lot more experience than my husban

Can you help, Dr. Toni? What should I do?

Dazed and Confused

Dear Reader:

Opening up sexually again after the death of your husband has probably been made easier through reconnecting with someone who knew you when you were young. Loving sex for a woman produces large amounts of oxytocin. This chemical creates bonding and well being. If you broke it off recently, you may be feeling the effects of the “love chemical” withdrawal.

This man may have come into your life to reawaken you to life. When a partner dies that we’ve enjoyed a good marriage with, a part of us goes with them. You have been in a winter like mourning for sometime and perhaps Spring has come through this man. I suggest  you take the time to go through this withdrawal and then evaluate how important a common lifestyle is to your happiness.

As we age, we are not as flexible about downsizing or simplifying our lives for another. Women who have been well supported financially by their husbands tend to look to men to upgrade them economically not the reverse. Look at your values. Is it more important to be with someone who is kind and loving and with whom you are sexually compatible or is it more important to be with someone who can pick up the tab for a certain lifestyle?

Are you in love with this man or is he safe because he was your first lover and now your first again since losing your husband? Give yourself six weeks and then decide in the new year if your feelings for him remain the same.

My sense is that you will never know if he is truly the one until you venture out and risk dating other men. If you give yourself time to move beyond the identity of widow and actually become single again, you will discover if your old high school sweetheart is the guy for you.  I also would suggest that you stop listening to other people’s opinions about this and get quiet and listen to your own heart. Do what is good for you, not your family.

If you have a question for the LifeQuake Doctor, write to DrToni@LifeQuake.net.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, life transitions strategist, and author and is available for consult by phone or SKYPE.  Dr. Toni will be giving a teleclass called “Designing your 2012” in late January. You can reach her through her website, http://www.lifequake.net,  DrToni@LifeQuake.net, or 310-890-6832.