Dear Dr. Toni,

I just finished reading your article and I find that I've been walking in a haze and stuck or lost as to what to do with my life??? I've been unemployed for the past 4 months and have had odd jobs here and there but nothing stable, which has put me in debt... I want to go back to school and become a Naturopath and Biofeedback Tech. However, finding a regular job to pay my debt and school seems to be a real challenge. Once in a while I'll find myself in the wrong company trying to escape my situation only to awake to the problem still there.

I went to school for Fashion Design and Merchandising and have been a Certified Massage Therapist for 12 yrs. Neither of which I have been looking into for work.

I'm 38 yrs old and feeling not at the top of my game... I've always been able to support myself and have had great jobs. However, this past 2 yrs has been an absolute crying shame. I don't know what to do or where to go. Do you have any suggestions?

Love N Light, Katherine

Dear Katherine:

Well, it sounds to me like you're in Stage Four of a LifeQuake - the void between who you thought you were and who you are becoming.

Sometimes as we enter midlife our soul opts to quit having a career and instead wants our work to be a calling. Unlike a career that involves appropriate education or training in a field, a calling requires we become someone more expansive than we have been before.

The road to discovering your life purpose is often meant to be a preparation for what you are to actually do. There is a process we must go through of releasing old programs that defined whom we were both outside and in. Opening to our calling requires an emptying. We must empty ourselves of who we've been to be open to whom we truly are. This limbo state in between can leave us feeling very vulnerable without a career identity.

I would encourage you to examine what qualities you want to embody as a Naturopath and Biofeedback Tech that are not so well developed in you right now or are in need of deepening. For example, to be a great healer it requires tremendous empathy for those we are working with, especially our most difficult clients. So, be compassionate with yourself right now. To be a great healer requires holding tremendous faith and patience in the power of healing when your clients become discouraged. So once again, gather the faith and patience in yourself even when there is no evidence that you will be shown what the next step is in your journey. This is all preparation for the person you will become.

You mention having had great jobs in the past. While you are in the void of preparation and discovery, perhaps doing something you have done before for awhile can refill your coffers. The key is to get work that can pay your bills while you are preparing on the psycho-spiritual level. For example, research who in your town is a successful acupuncturist or chiropractor and is also a naturopath and offer to work in their office on a percentage basis as a massage therapist. It will motivate them to send you clients so they get paid and perhaps they will become a mentor for you and assist you in finding creative ways to get the training you need. If it is truly your calling, by exposing yourself to people who are doing what you want to be doing, the pieces will begin to fall into place. Commit to working at something that can ground you while keeping your heart open to the destiny that awaits. Trust yourself that even when it feels like you're cracking up, you're actually cracking open!

Dear Dr. Toni:

I have been working as the assistant administrator of a non-profit organization for five years now. I have been offered a better job as chief administrator also in a non-profit organization. However, it is on the other side of the country in a smaller city in the South. I have a lot of friends where I presently preside and am feeling really anxious about taking this new job. On the other hand, if I stay at my old job, I could wait forever for my boss to leave or retire and there are no other jobs here as a chief operating officer in the area of non-profit that I work in. I have to make a decision soon. Help!

Mario

Dear Mario:

What to do, so many choices, so little time! It sounds like you need to weigh your priorities - the familiar friendship and community versus a career advancement and venturing into the unknown. A lot of anxiety can get triggered when you don't know if you will like the new job or the city or the people. What is your tolerance for change and starting anew? Do you make friends easily? I urge you to spend time in quiet meditation and breathe into your body, right into the place where the anxiety is living. When you are able to get the fear quieted, ask the question, what is my deepest fear? Then ask, in spite of this fear, is this the right move for me? If you don't hear or see anything, ask to be shown a symbol for staying and then one that represents taking the job. For example, you see your present job symbolized by a pillow and the future one as a bridge. What do each of these symbols mean to you? If neither of these techniques work, ask to be shown a sign in the next 24 hours as you go about your life that you could interpret as a synchronicity guiding you toward your destiny. You will not make the wrong decision. Ultimately, you will always decide what you are ready for.

Good Luck!