Dear Dr.Toni,

I have spent 13 years and over a quarter of a million dollars learning about health and wellness, disease prevention and psycho-neuro-immunology yet, I am afraid to launch my special topic health and wellness seminar business that I dream of.

It is based upon a very specific topic, I love it, believe in it and am very excited about sharing it with people to help enpower them in a new way to prevent disease, BUT, I just tread water on getting it up and running. Can't find a location for the talks, no website designer, 10 business and domain names written down on paper and yet I haven't picked one. My power-point presentation is 1/4 finished and my website content is 1 out of 4 pages finished. I meditate and pray and vizualize on all of this and all I can come up with is that I tend to focus on my sick elder parents, brother's family and my boyfriend. I let getting in shape and getting my business up and running as last priorities when in fact being fit and healthy, and following my life's calling are my constant longing.

It seems like they are all so needy that I wait mostly to help them out on a daily basis. What can I do, my co-dependency tapes are worn thin from use and they haven't helped me?

ugh, MAD

Dear MAD:

Well, as you have signed this MAD I am assuming you are more than just frustrated. They key here is how to use that anger so it gets you moving. I would suggest beginning with 20 minutes and no more than 20 minutes of vigorous walking every day. Secondly, take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side, list all the messages you received as a child both directly and indirectly around being selfish – for the self. Still on the left side, list the messages you received about success and what you would lose if you were successful. Now take each one and say it out loud. Where do you feel it in your body when you say the words? The last step here is to imagine a golden light descending through the top of your head. Breathe this light into each place you are holing that belief in your body one by one until you feel a change in sensation or feeling.

Return to your list and now on the right hand side of the paper, describe your life and yourself if you were expressing your full potential. How does that feel in your body? Say it out loud with your hand over your heart while verbalizing it.

People who focus their attention on the needs of others when they have a clear idea of their calling are typically afraid of power and the beliefs they carry from childhood as to what you will lose if you are powerful. Women often believe they will end up alone if they go for their dreams. The body houses these subconscious, sabotaging mechanisms so we must transmute them energetically to get out of our own way!

Good luck, MAD. Give yourself the best Christmas present possible – the expression of your full potential self.

Dear Dr. Toni:

Hi, Joe

You know Joe, love is one of those inimitable things the nature of which when you chase it, it runs away. i know that is cliched, but it's true. I would suggest not making a long-term relationship your primary objective. Feeling whole does not come from being loved or even giving love. Perhaps the hunger you are feeling for a relationship with someone else can best be found by getting very quiet. Place your hands over your heart, turn within and breath with your focus on your hands. As your hands get warmer, think about all the times you’ve used these hands to extend love to others and then direct that love through your hands into your heart. I promise you, Joe, your soul will get fed. There may be resistance at first from the ego who is dedicated to keeping us restless and feeling empty but if you light a candle and spend 20 minutes a day focused on that light while you rest into your body eventually what you will experience is yourself AS LOVE and that vibe will draw it to you.

Happy Holidays to all my readers. Give yourself a great gift this season, extend peace to your fellow travelers as you move across our mother, Earth.

And for those seeking more tips on their life purpose, Ask The LifeQuake™ Doctor can be seen on Utube. The current segment is called Connecting the Dots.