The LifeQuake Blog

Evolutionary scientists claim that at every juncture when our species was making a major evolutionary shift, climate played a large role. Now, we can understand how primitive man became nomadic in order to find better food sources and thus a less harsh climate but how exactly is that playing out today? It seems that every time we get hit with a tsunami, earthquake, or most recently, volcanic ash, it stops mobility. People are either wiped out in large numbers or stranded from flying. When the 1989 San Francisco Quake hit, I was getting on a plane at Kennedy International in New York and it took 24 hours to get home. Rescuing Hurricane Kartrina victims was a travesty in delayed response.

The recent chaos that ensued from a lack of coordination of European airlines cost them $1.5 billion dollars and kept 9.5 million people on the ground.
According to the Wall Street Journal today,http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704133804575197363596504510.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_MIDDLTopStories
“Airline-industry officials said the initial response of regulators across Europe was haphazard and created confusion for airlines and passengers, illustrating the urgency of implementing the European Union’s “single sky” project, under which air traffic and oversight will be coordinated across the 27-country bloc. Currently, airspace closures, airplane movements and most aviation rules are handled independently by national governments. Mr. Schulte-Strathaus said efforts by EU Transport Commissioner Siim Kallas and his team over the weekend that led to Monday’s decision to reopen airspace showed the value of close EU cooperation on aviation regulation.
Journal Community

Mr. Kallas’s spokeswoman said that if the new rules—planned for 2012—had already been in place, Monday’s decision could have been taken on Friday, avoiding four days of disruptions and financial losses.” This marks the biggest disruption in global aviation since 9/11.

Ok, so let’s go back almost 9 years. We now know there were many warnings the government was given that an attack was imminent. We were warned about the levies in New Orleans. So, it is seductive to blame governments for not implementing policies or strategies that would prevent massive crises like these. We could make a case for asking, “why does it always take a crisis to get change in the world?”

We could do that or we could do the harder thing and look into our own lives and ask the same question, “how is it that I wait until a crisis hits in my life before I move forward and make changes?” In my book, The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive not Just Survive in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval I assert that the evolutionary mandate at this juncture is surely not the one that Neanderthal man had to face: those who ran the fastest tended to survive. No, the evolutionary mandate now is how quickly do we assess that the ways we have been doing our lives are now defunct and make a change before it reaches crisis levels?

Mother Earth is doing her best to wake us up, for sure. If we continue to rely on devastating crises to implement change, we will be living out Darwin’s survival of the fittest. Those who are hearty enough to survive climate catastrophes, plagues, and continuing economic contraction will be the ancestors of a newly evolving species. Adaptation to a crisis driven world is one vision for this evolutionary shift. There is however, another vision. If Gandhi and a myriad of quantum physicists are correct and we individually take on healing our addiction to crisis as a catalyst for change, our dear Mother, the planet may not have to “quake us up”.

Here’s a vision: Individually, our LifeQuakes start to show up as mere awakening to the next level of our consciousness. We no longer hold the belief that change means loss. Change now is informed by a developed intuitive mind that creates a vision for one’s future that embodies thriving. We actually slow down long enough to notice when a chapter of our lives is coming to a close and we prepare for it, not resist it. The whole world then makes an evolutionary shift that eliminates scarcity.

If I just choose to face what I need to change today to make my life thrive a little more and not just be in survival, just today, it starts to feel attainable.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist/career coach, noted public speaker, columnist, and author.

We live in rapidly changing times. The beginning of this decade and century has brought many sudden, sometimes devastating crises to which we’ve had to respond instantly. Hurricane Katrina, 9/11, the earthquake in Haiti and Wall Street quaking all came, seemingly without warning. And it is predicted that we will continue to see devastating collective happenings, such as climate catastrophes and economic contractions (economists predict until 2011).

On a more personal level, there are also massive LifeQuakes that many of us are experiencing. Given this, it is no wonder that addiction, in all its manifestations, continues to skyrocket. But these seemingly catastrophic events can be a guise for something better. Through the eyes of evolution-oriented psychotherapy, it can be seen as part of a vast evolutionary shift.

Fear has always been an adaptive, evolutionary mechanism for getting our adrenaline pumping. But survival of the fittest no longer indicates who can outrun nature’s predators. Today’s survivors are those who can maintain grace under fire. For the addict, who often comes with a rigid personality structure, learning to adapt to these times of personal and global upheaval without relapsing is the true challenge.

Part of responding to crisis without hysteria is preparation. It is actually possible to intuit the signs that radical change is coming—if people in aboriginal tribes can have this instinctual nature, so can we. In fact, there are documented instances of people who intuited not to get on United flight 93 on 9/11, who sold their home before the 1994 Northridge earthquake, and who got out of the stock market shortly before September 2008.

The key to preparing for change depends on a new belief that change is gain, as opposed to loss. When you choose to change the negative association with change, you are more apt to listen for the signs that a cycle is completing and change is coming, even if you don’t know what that specific change needs to be.

In your childhood, if change always brought crisis or pain, you may have a deep subconscious resistance to major transitions and turn to addiction to cope. The irony is that if you hold onto the belief that change will be negative, it can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. If your coping strategy for adapting to change is to avoid the warning signs by numbing yourself through substances or other distractions, you actually create crisis-driven transition. Even for those who are going to meetings and are not actively using, there are other subtle ways of avoiding dealing with the fear of change. A slew of parking tickets may be a wake-up call that you are over-parked in your life. If ignored, a major accident could be around the corner.

One technique to begin to transform the fear of change is to spend a few minutes every day with your eyes closed. Ask yourself, “Is there some area of my life that has become defunct, no longer functioning for my greater good?” It could be your job responsibilities, the form of exercise you do or even your sex life.

Now focus inward toward your body.

When you think about changing that routine, what feelings surface? Where are those feelings located in your body? Now, take five minutes to simply breathe into it by placing your left hand (this is governed by the side of the brain that elicits our intuitive, creative self) directly over this area. Allow your hand to get warmer. Now send an intention of unconditional love into your hand. Think about all the times you have used your hands to express love toward family members or a pet, and then transfer that same feeling of complete acceptance you have toward others you love to the place in your body where you hold the fear of change. Love the fear as it is by directing energy through your hand as you would if you were reassuring a wounded pet. End this practice by repeating to yourself, “I am safe and secure. Change now brings me gain.”

Allow yourself to either visualize or feel into your body a future life in which this change has brought peace and in which you are thriving. The key is to practice experiencing feeling the inner security of moving through change completely supported emotionally, physically, and financially, so that you can thrive after the change comes. To reprogram your body to do this, repeat this exercise as often as you feel the fear arise—for as long as several weeks—until there is no more negative charge associated with making a life change.

Spring is here! Have you done a spring cleaning at the body, mind, and soul level yet? What is flowering in your life this season?

Dear Dr. Toni:
I have been in a long distance relationship with a man for the past six months who lives in Minnesota. I have made most of the trips to see him because my ailing father lives nearby.
On the last day of every trip, he closes down and disconnects. Then he gets critical in his comments to me. I have mentioned this to him and on my last trip he took some time to examine his feelings. He shared with me that he doesn’t feel he can have a relationship at a time when his son is in crisis at school; his company is in peril, and he is about to lose his home.
The problem is that once there is distance, he starts to warm up again and I get hooked back in. Should I cut off the relationship altogether or maintain a friendship by phone? I feel this deep connection with him and I know he feels it with me when he lets himself, but I cannot take this roller coaster ride when I’m with him.
What should I do?
Deborah

Dear Deborah:
It sounds to me that you have your answer. He has told you he isn’t available for a relationship. Can you be just his friend? Only you can answer this. If not, tell him you need a break to make the transition to a friendship and that you will call him when and if you can. Then, be your own best friend. What kinds of activities do you like to do? Make a list of 50 and start doing them. Make your life a joyful experience that any man would love to be invited into.

Dear Dr. Toni:
I have been a medical professional for 20 years and my practice has virtually dissolved in the last year. I don’t know what to do. I am going further and further into debt and I can’t get a 9 to 5 job that will cover my overhead. I am going to bed scared every night. I would ask my colleagues to send me business, but most of them are in the same boat.
I have a feeling there might be something else for me to do with my life but I haven’t the faintest idea what that is. What do you suggest I do, Dr. Toni? I feel like I am running out of time and will be facing bankruptcy if I don’t act soon.
Desperate in Brentwood

Dear Desperate:
I hear your fear and it probably is very little consolation to know that many people are in the same boat with you, and it might feel like that boat is sinking. There are a couple of things I would like to recommend. On the physical level, I suggest that you include a multi-mineral supplement with your breakfast or lunch and add some extra magnesium. This does two things: it supports the immune system in that it alkalinizes the body when you’re under stress (and the body becomes acidic), and it feeds the nervous system. Magnesium is especially good for this. The most absorbable magnesium is magnesium glycinate. Eating lots of leafy greens helps too. Secondly, make sure you are exercising four to five times a week at something that is not depleting to your adrenals. You can tell this by how you feel when you are done with your routine.
Next, incorporate what I call emotional pulse checks, three times a day. Set an alarm on your computer or cell phone to go off and remind you to notice your breath. Take five minutes to consciously breathe down into your gut and set an intention for releasing all muscle tension from your body.
Before you go to sleep, do my evening download technique of scanning your day and consciously releasing all events that registered stress in your body. Forgive yourself or anyone else who might have been a catalyst for that stress. Both of these techniques are on my CD, The LifeQuake Method and can be obtained by going to my Web site and clicking on http://www.lifequake.net/products.
Next, if you go to the very bottom of the media page, there is a free video to view called “Connecting the Dots” which will give you an exercise for observing your life and discovering what gives you energy now. The gift inside your practice is the opportunity to reinvent yourself. As this chapter is ending you are entering what I call in chapter four of my book, “The Cosmic Barbecue.” Transition is never easy, but if you get in touch with disowned parts of yourself it can lead to your life purpose and more meaning in your career. Change is good. We just need to be calm enough first to recognize the clues to journeying on the path that is meant just for us!

I am excited to announce that my book The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval is available April 14 in paperback through Amazon and Barnes & Noble online book stores.

To submit questions for Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor, contact Dr. Toni Galardi through DrToni@LifeQuake.net (no period after the Dr.) For those seeking phone coaching, Dr. Toni can be reached at 310.712.2600.

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