The LifeQuake Blog

Posts for November, 2009

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

lifequake

I have often been asked in interviews on the book tour for The LifeQuake Phenomenon how I came to write this book. The story behind it is quite dramatic but more than an actual book, the twenty year journey behind it not only radically changed me but called me to my mission. If you are floundering right now as to what your life purpose is, begin to notice what drives you. What over the course of your life have you been most inspired or passionate about? You may find your life’s most passionate moments form a theme.

Long before my LifeQuake journey began, in my second job out of college, I was hired to teach students, women’s groups, nurses, etc. tips on how to negotiate the world that would assist in preventing sexual assault. This idea of crisis prevention would follow me all my adult years even when I seemed to be unable to prevent massive crises in my own life.

If you are in career transition or confusion right now, take some time to notice what do you care about? Is it rescuing animals from lab testing, providing resources for the homeless, or simply getting behind advocacy on issues you care about.

The holidays can be a great time to not just volunteer but discover what is your driving desire that has nothing to do with a sale at Bloomingdale’s or having the perfect Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving or Christmas.

For me, when I lose touch with what I am truly passionate about, food becomes a great lure. You may find that you too have addictions you turn to when you’re bored, frustrated, or depressed.

If you are experiencing economic contraction or loneliness once again this holiday season, the best way to stay out of the “lack conversation” is to sit quietly and ride the wave of your feelings. Where are they stuck in your body? If you stay with it and not go to outer distractions, it will dissolve more quickly.

Once you release the anxiety or depression, take 15 minutes a day to sit quietly and ask the question, ” What is the opportunity that this time alone or career challenge is presenting, what am I being called to do now that I wouldn’t have considered if I were still in that job or relationship?” You may find that as you go about your day, the answer will show up in what you care about or an opportunity may come in that is a step in the reinvention process. I am including here a link to my latest blog that was an interview done with me on my journey to finding my mission and ultimately writing a book. http://www.lifequake.net/2009/11/20/the-lifequake-phenomenon-interviewed-on-fascinating-authors

The holidays can be more than great food and an exchange of gifts. Mindfulness can offer the greatest gift of all: your next life purpose. Happy Thanksgiving!

Sincerely,
Dr. Toni Galardi
“The LifeQuake Doctor”

Dr. Toni Galardi’s The LifeQuake Phenomenon Interviewed on Fascinating Authors

Friday, November 20th, 2009

thumbprint book cover

FASCINATING AUTHORS: What excites you most about your book’s topic? Why did you choose it?

Author: What excites me most about my topic is that I created a model for helping people overcome the fear of change that can have a global effect as well. If we learn to anticipate when cycles in our lives are ending, we don’t have to bring in catastrophe to motivate us to change. We can end such disasters like 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina if we change how we negotiate change in our own lives. It also excites me that I have been able to use this model with individual clients, public seminars, in big business, and as a relapse prevention model in chemical dependency treatment facilities. I want people to be saved from the unnecessary suffering I went through to get this message.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: How long did the book take you from start to finish?

Author: The book itself took three years. The journey of writing the first proposal began twenty years ago.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: What aspect of writing the book did you find particularly challenging?

Author: Editing out stories I had collected from all the interviews I had done to keep the number of pages manageable.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: What surprised you the most about the book writing process?

Author: How much of it is editing.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: Did you have any favorite experiences when writing your book?

Author: Up until 2008, every time I wrote a book proposal from 1990 to 2007, my life would go into another LifeQuake and the depth of the book would expand.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: What do you hope your readers will gain from reading your book?

Author: I hope they will feel inspired to experience their LifeQuake as a rebirth not a disaster and that with this seven stage roadmap, it will get easier and easier to anticipate when to make changes and become more agile when dealing with sudden changes.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: What projects are you currently working on?

Author: Most of my writing involves blogging, articles, media interviews to promote this book but I have an idea for my next book which has to de with redefining sexuality in America.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: Is writing your sole career? If not, what else do you do?

Author: I am a career coach, psychotherapist, advice columnist, corporate trainer and public speaker.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: Did you do any research for your books, or did you write from experience?

Author: Both. I did a lot of research into evolutionary psychology, conducted over 100 interviews, and read what had been said about mastering change in order to show the distinction in my model that addresses reconstructing the whole human at the body, mind, and spirit level. And I shared my experience.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: How did you come up with your title?

Author: I needed a word that was a metaphor for the process that interfaced humans and the earth: The earth has a core. We have a core. The earth has layers around it with faultlines running through it. We have layers of faulty programs from the old tribal paradigms. So when the soul wakes up and demands living authentically, it creates pressure in these fault lines that can translate into outer crisis if the person’s ego resists making changes. I called it The LifeQuake Phenomenon because this awakening is taking place globally. We are in a massive, collective shift that looks like economic collapse.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: What books have influenced you the most?

Author: Pema Chodron’s “When Things Fall Apart” to explain the importance of resting into groundlessness and Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning that teaches one to have a soul filled context for suffering and loss that give one’s life meaning.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: Who was your publisher and why did you choose them?

Author: My publisher is Wheatmark Publishing and I chose them because I wanted a free hand in writing my book while getting guidance where I needed it. They provide great hands on assistance and graphic designers for the cover. I was very pleased with how the book looks aesthetically to complement the content.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: Tell us a little bit about your book.

Author: The LifeQuake Phenomenon is a body, mind, and spirit method for overcoming the fear of change, eliminating crisis as a catalyst for moving on, and learning how to thrive not just survive radical upheaval.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: What inspired you to create a work of nonfiction?

Author: My life and the lives of the 100 people I interviewed. “Truth is stranger than fiction.”

FASCINATING AUTHORS: What did you do to prepare for writing your book?

Author: I experienced physical challenges, financial ruin, and confronted addiction issues. I took a journey that Jungians call “the descent into the abyss” that involved three near fatal experiences and a birth into my authentic self. I lived this model and wrote 7 versions of a book proposal over the course of 20 years.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: How did you develop your idea for this book?

Author: I saw that there was a pattern of how change occurs when a cycle in our psyche and lives are coming to a close and a construct for developing one’s new life purpose out of the chaos that ensues. I interviewed people on a talk show I did for two years, spoke on the subject of crisis and change at conferences, conventions, and workshops and did live radio as a guest. The feedback I received confirmed I was on the right track.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: What can we look forward to in your next book?

Author: It is still marinating inside of me but I am musing the idea that we have a very schizophrenic approach to sexuality in this country and it has taken a toll on our body images. The shadow side of our Puritanism is the proliferation of pornography and child sexual abuse. We need a new model that has more respect and nurturing paid to the physical body.

FASCINATING AUTHORS: Is there anything we haven’t covered that you would like to include?

Author: We are in an exciting time. What looks like chaos, ie. climate disasters, economic contraction, and the rise of addiction are all part of an evolutionary shift on the planet that will truly unite us as a global family. Everyone I interviewed shared that without their LifeQuakes they would never have expanded their consciousness into the awareness they stepped into. However, people need a road map and an inspiring context for holding the chaotic transitions going on in their lives so that they choose evolution over trying to hold onto the past. The LifeQuake Phenomenon delivers that model and roadmap!

FASCINATING AUTHORS: Thank you for taking the time to be part of this interview!

To learn more about the book and author, please visit: http://www.lifequake.net/

Dr. Galardi quoted in New York Post article on Second Acts

Friday, November 6th, 2009

toni2

Second acts
Some find upside in downsizing, as layoffs open new doors
New York Post
By VICKI SALEMI

Last Updated: 9:17 PM, November 2, 2009

Posted: 1:41 AM, November 2, 2009
When life handed lemons to Courtney Adams and Chris Merritt, they didn’t make lemonade. They made lasagna instead. Downsized within one week of each other last December and three weeks after signing their lease, the Harlem couple — she a former brand director in the music industry and he a former employee of a company that produced conferences — concocted an idea: Why not develop a business around Adams’ love for cooking?

“If there’s a passion you’ve always wanted to pursue, I can’t imagine a better opportunity to do it,” says Adams.

“You can’t spend 24 hours a day looking for a job, so you might as well make the best of your time trying to make some money on your own.”

So they created a business plan, developed a Web site and launched Uptown Comfort (“Good Food for Bad Times”), a comfort-food catering business with favorites like barbecued chicken sliders, lasagna and cornbread.

“Being unemployed has been a truly defining experience,” says Merritt. “After so many years working with many parameters and expectations, you suddenly are free to define those parameters for yourself.”

For Dan Nainan of Chelsea, a former strategic relations manager at Intel, getting the ax meant being free to hang up the corporate suit and pick up a mike. He’d started flexing his comedic muscles by performing on weekends, as his job took him around the world doing technical demos in front of large crowds. After he was given the pink slip, the action plan became a no-brainer: Nainan pursued stand-up comedy full-throttle.

Since then, he’s been booked solid. He’s performed at the Democratic National Convention, did three Obama inaugural events in January and just shot a commercial for Apple, to name a few. And he owes it to an event that at the time seemed anything but a boon.

“I loved my job and wouldn’t have had the guts to leave on my own,” he says.

Not every layoff victim ends up finding a blessing in disguise in a pink slip, but such experiences are a lot more common than one might think, says Rachelle J. Canter, president of the executive coaching firm RJC Associates and author of “Make the Right Career Move.”

“How many of us have been miserable in jobs but afraid to make a change because we don’t know how to land a new job and are often too scared to try?” she says.

When she did a survey several years ago of employees who’d lost jobs, “the vast majority said losing the job was the best thing that ever happened to them because they needed a kick in the pants to find jobs they liked much more.”

On a roll

For Michael Dolan of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, the kick in the pants came the day he was downsized from his job as a publicist for a technology software company in SoHo.

“I was totally blindsided,” he said. “Things seemed like business as usual and then, boom! No job.”

Disillusioned and worried about paying the bills, he nonetheless realized he’d been given an opportunity to focus on his love for bicycle racing, something his intensive work schedule hadn’t allowed.

“For the past six months I’ve been training two hours a day and racing competitively on weekends. I’m in the best shape of my life, completely destressing and having a blast,” he says.

And biking has done more than tone his thigh muscles — it’s opened up a possible new career.

Having discovered a love for taking photos of bike races, Dolan recently landed his first paid photography gig, and is considering pursuing that line of work full-time.

“I’ve been shooting as many events as I can, sending out my photos to magazines and Web sites, and improving my post-production skills by learning Photoshop and Lightroom,” he says.

“Getting laid off feels like you’re being pushed off a cliff. I figured I would just make the best of it. Put yourself out there and you may discover a hidden skill.”

Whether he knew it or not, Dolan was following the advice given to pink-slippers by psychotherapist Dr. Toni Galardi, the author of “The LifeQuake Phenomenon,” which addresses taking advantage of times of crisis to make life changes. If you’ve got a hobby or an outlet that you enjoy, pursue it; if you don’t, find one.

“The key during career transition is to stay passionate,” she says. “The vibe you give off will attract opportunities if you’re doing something you love every day besides job searching.”


For Suzette Banzo, being able to follow her bliss was exactly what was missing from her life during the 16 years she spent working for Verizon, first in quality assurance and then doing budget analysis.

“It was impossible to get time off from my job to pursue anything of interest to me,” she says.

Getting downsized took care of that issue, and it led her in an unexpected direction — modeling. It started when she was approached at a fund-raising event by the owner of a training program for plus-size models, who suggested she could do well in the business.

“I thought she was crazy,” says Banzo — but soon she was on the catwalk. Since then she’s shot a commercial for Kodak and walked the runway for Full Figure Fashion Week, which landed her a gig as a signature model for Hearts Desire Jewelry, and a role as the company’s East Coast sales representative.

“The designer tapped into my marketing degree, and we now collaborate on promotions and marketing strategies,” she says. Once frustrated as a “creative person in a finance job,” she says, “I’ve spent the last year being everything I had put on hold for far too long.”

Even for those who are content in their careers and aim to return to their industry, a layoff can provide an opportunity to do something meaningful.

Rob Morrison, a former NBC news anchor, learned this when he was bought out of his contract last year, and found “an unexpected gift” in staying home with his 3-year-old son Jack.

Something else unexpected came out of it, when the 20-year veteran of broadcast news launched a popular blog on Huffington Post called “Daddy Diaries: Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Anchorman.”

“To have an outlet like that was key, and gave me a break from Handy Manny and Mickey Mouse,” says the Upper West Sider. Plus, he notes, it was a great way to keep his name out there.

Back on his feet, now with CBS2, Morrison looks back at his 16-month sabbatical as a mitzvah.

“I logged a lot of playground hours and got to watch my toddler turn into a little boy,” he says. “It was fascinating.”

His blog came to an end when his unemployed days did, but he’s since been contacted by a filmmaker who’s doing a documentary on the recession, and is interested in featuring Morrison, and possibly using him as a writer or narrator.

Shifting gears

As the job market opens up, what happens to blossoming side gigs? In some cases, like Morrison’s, they may fade into the background. Merritt of Uptown Comfort landed a new job at Macy’s as special-events manager, but is still helping out with strategizing for the catering business.

Adams is still on the hunt. And she hopes her experience starting and running the business is an extra selling point on her resume, where it’s listed in the skills and achievements section. In an interview, she says, “I’d present it as a learning experience that culminated from not being employed and needing to direct my talents to do something productive.”

Such ambition and drive is likely to impress a prospective employer, notes Canter.

“Is there an employer who dislikes initiative or who prefers candidates that lounged around the house or perfected their golf game while laid-off?” she asks.

While Adams hopes to keep the business going even should she land full-time work, she says she’d be quick to tell a potential employer that she’d hand over management to one of her consultants or fold the business if there were a conflict.

For her part, Banzo hopes to continue finding ways to use her marketing skills within the plus-size modeling business, and is trying other things as well, including writing for a trade magazine that covers the industry. She’s not entirely sure where this new road is headed, but has no doubt it’s a detour she’s glad to have taken, even if it wasn’t initially by choice.

“I feel like I’m finally living my life,” she says.

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When life handed lemons to Courtney Adams and Chris Merritt, they didn’t make lemonade. They made lasagna instead.

Downsized within one week of each other last December and three weeks after signing their lease, the Harlem couple — she a former brand director in the music industry and he a former employee of a company that produced conferences — concocted an idea: Why not develop a business around Adams’ love for cooking?

“If there’s a passion you’ve always wanted to pursue, I can’t imagine a better opportunity to do it,” says Adams. “You can’t spend 24 hours a day looking for a job, so you might as well make the best of your time trying to make some money on your own.”
SALAD DAYS: Laid off from the music industry and looking for a job, Courtney Adams decided to parlay her love of cooking into a catering business.
Lorenzo Ciniglio/Freelance
SALAD DAYS: Laid off from the music industry and looking for a job, Courtney Adams decided to parlay her love of cooking into a catering business.

So they created a business plan, developed a Web site and launched Uptown Comfort (“Good Food for Bad Times”), a comfort-food catering business with favorites like barbecued chicken sliders, lasagna and cornbread.

“Being unemployed has been a truly defining experience,” says Merritt. “After so many years working with many parameters and expectations, you suddenly are free to define those parameters for yourself.”

For Dan Nainan of Chelsea, a former strategic relations manager at Intel, getting the ax meant being free to hang up the corporate suit and pick up a mike. He’d started flexing his comedic muscles by performing on weekends, as his job took him around the world doing technical demos in front of large crowds. After he was given the pink slip, the action plan became a no-brainer: Nainan pursued stand-up comedy full-throttle.

Since then, he’s been booked solid. He’s performed at the Democratic National Convention, did three Obama inaugural events in January and just shot a commercial for Apple, to name a few. And he owes it to an event that at the time seemed anything but a boon.

“I loved my job and wouldn’t have had the guts to leave on my own,” he says.

Not every layoff victim ends up finding a blessing in disguise in a pink slip, but such experiences are a lot more common than one might think, says Rachelle J. Canter, president of the executive coaching firm RJC Associates and author of “Make the Right Career Move.”

“How many of us have been miserable in jobs but afraid to make a change because we don’t know how to land a new job and are often too scared to try?” she says.

When she did a survey several years ago of employees who’d lost jobs, “the vast majority said losing the job was the best thing that ever happened to them because they needed a kick in the pants to find jobs they liked much more.”

*

Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/business/jobs/second_acts_NgA55jRydcHTeGjNqgeFGO/0#ixzz0WBWhBuIn

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor – November column – Dreams and Change

Friday, November 6th, 2009

Toni Headshot

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor
November 2009 Column
“Whatever is flexible and flowing will tend to grow. Whatever is rigid and blocked will wither and die.” from the Tao Te Ching

Dear Dr. Toni:
I don’t know if you work with interpreting dreams but I have been having a dream that keeps repeating itself. I am in an old house and some of the rooms are closed off and some of the rooms are scary. They have dead bodies in them. There is however, one room that is like an attic that is also closed off but there is light peering from under the door. I seem to be afraid to open it, though.
In my waking life, I work in the helping professions but am in burnout. I don’t want to do it anymore and yet am clueless as to what to do next. Is there a connection with this dream? Can you help?
Deborah

Dear Deborah:
Actually, in my private practice I do work with dreams. I was trained as a Jungian therapist and Carl Jung believed many of our fears and aspirations are played out in the dreamtime. So, let’s look at this dream. When you analyze a dream, before you get into figuring out who the people represent, an important character, you might say is the landscape. In your dream, it plays a very predominant role but even when it is mere back drop, it is important.
The landscape here is an old house. The house represents the self. The cellar is often the unconscious, the main floor the conscious, and the attic or upper level is the super conscious mind. Then there are individual rooms that can represent places we store memories particularly if those rooms contain dead bodies as this does.
I would suggest that you do this exercise: sit quietly, spend five minutes breathing slowly in and out to get centered. Now go back into the dream’s first scene. What feeling did it evoke? As you proceed to recall the dream, notice if the feeling tone changes. When you open the door that has the dead bodies, go intot he room if you can and ask the body what it represents. What is dead that you have kept stored away and haven’t properly buried? Venture into the kitchen and see what is there. The kitchen represents how we nourish ourselves. Is the refrigerator full or empty. Does the stove work? This can represent how much fire we have inside to make any changes.
Now walk up the stairs to the room that has a light under the door. Ask to be given a spiritual guide and a key to open the door. The guide will be with you throughout the process and keep you safe. Whatever you see and feel when you open the door is a key to your future. This dream has come to inspire you to take action – confront the skeletons in the closet and connect to your soul’s purpose. Be courageous and allow a passionate life to emerge through risking opening the door to lighten your consciousness.

Dear Dr. Toni:
I don’t know if you can help me. My problem is not like most of the people who write you. I know what my calling is, I just seem to be dried up creatively.
I am a writer in recovery. While I was drinking, it was easy for me to access the muse. Now that I am sober, I find that I have a chronic writer’s block. My career is in jeopardy if I don’t get past this. I am not meeting my deadlines. What should I do?
Dry and Dried Up in L.A.

Dear Reader:
There is an expression in A.A. – “terminal uniqueness”. When an addict thinks their problem is special, not like other people’s or if they don’t feel they can relate to coming to AA meetings because their addiction is unique.
You don’t say whether you go to A.A. meetings but if you did, you would find you would be in good company, especially around those who are new to recovery and think their imagination, like a genie, emerges from a bottle. When you speak to writers who have been in recovery for a long time and who work the twelve steps, you will find that they often discover that not only can the muse come clean and sober but that they find they have become more productive not less.

I am not saying that Alcoholics Anonymous is for everyone but I would suggest that if you got sober by yourself, that you attend a yoga or meditation class that can show you how to use your breath to expand the mind and open to universal consciousness. When we go beyond our limited minds and surrender to this vast intelligence, so much more is possible. A daily ritual before you go to your computer is to open to possibility and call in the muse with reverence. Asking to be shown what to write creates a humility and a surrender to the “gods of imagination”. I also recommend a book – The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. It is a great book for any artist suffering from creative blocks.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, public speaker, and the author of her new book: The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval. Dr. Galardi works by phone internationally with people in transition. For those seeking private consultation, she can be reached at 310.712.2600. To submit questions for “Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor”, contact Dr. Toni Galardi through her email address: DrToni@LifeQuake.net.